How to Love Your Children Without Judging Them

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone was judging their children because of how they looked, talked, or walked? Would you ever judge your child this way? Believe it or not some parents do judge their kids and even though they believe they are providing constructive criticism, they are really giving them more insecurities than what they already feel or place insecurities they hadn't thought about.

Step1

Help them not hurt them. Let's say your child is overweight. Telling them that fatty foods are not good for them and that they can't eat too much of it, is okay, if you are leading the example and if you don't ban it from their diet. But if you eat fatty foods without restrictions your child is not going to know what is right or wrong and there is a chance they'll eat more because of it. Eating out one or two nights a week and making healthier meals the rest of the week, will help your child cut down on bad eating habits.

Step2

Support your child in discovering their talent. Your child wants to play a musical instrument or wants to sing in the school musical. You don't care for instruments and you wouldn't be caught dead singing on stage, but the best thing to do would be to let them try it. Trying to persuade them not to do it because you think your child is not good enough is not the best thing, because even if they take it as good criticism, they could still hold it against you for the rest of their adult life. Who wants to hear that you were the reason for them not reaching their potential?

Step3

Respect who they will become. Your child is in high school already and suddenly they want a change in wardrobe, hairstyle, hair color, jewelry etc. What would be the harm in letting them express their individuality? As long as they are respectful to you and others, are not in trouble with the law or in a gang, letting them be who they are can help them discover who they will become. They could end up being a manicurist, hairstylist, tattoo artist, or fashion designer.

Step4

Treat them as any child even if they have a disability. Even if your child has a learning disability, Attention deficit disorder, autism, or is in a wheelchair shouldn't stop you from supporting what they want to do. Children with disabilities can do things like play in sports, or swim just like everyone else. There will be limitations on what they can do, but just the fact they you are helping and supporting can boost their self esteem ten times higher than telling them there disability won't let them do things that other children can.

How to Help Children Cope With Fears

All children are afraid of new things. Something as benign as the dark or a neighbor's pet can become terrifying through a child's active imagination. How you handle your child's fears has an influence on how he will handle fears in adulthood. Follow these steps to soothe you child's fears.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Step1

Stay calm, whatever the situation. In times of crisis, it is natural for you to have fears. Take deep breaths and show your children you are brave enough to accept whatever the situation brings.

Step2

Show understanding towards your child's fears. Ridicule will make them worse. It also breeds distrust and will drive your child to keep quiet about his fears, which can cause all kinds of problems later.

Step3

Put the situation into perspective. Kids need explanations. Explain the barking dog is just saying hello or it is really her big brother in the monster costume.

Step4

Find something positive about the situation. Tell him after the thunder and lightening are over, pretty flowers will grow and you will take him to see them.

Step5

Distract your child with humor. When she runs to you because she thinks there is a monster under the bed, make a show of chasing him out and forbidding him to come back.

Step6

Encourage your child's creativity in resolving his fears. Pretend the bathtub is the ocean and his rubber toys are his companions. Ask him to tell you about his amazing voyage.

Step7

Expose your child gradually to situations she fears like school or the park. Go there with her when there isn't so much going on so she can get comfortable with the place. Role play scary situations so she is prepared.

How to Discipline a Child Effectively

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• patience
• more patience
• and more patience
• perhaps nerve pills

Step1

Discipline is important for any young person so they learn boundaries. A lack of discipline has been shown to lead to high incidents of criminal behavior ranging from bullying, rape, murder, robbery and drug use. If you want to keep your child out of jail you will discipline them and teach them boundaries at each step of their lives. Disciplining a child is not an easy task. Many times the parent will feel guilty and avoid the whole concept. Other times parents will act in anger and make bad choices in how to discipline a child.

All discipline of children should be within reason and for a good reason. Nagging about little things will present the idea to the child that he or she can't do anything right and lead to an inferiority complex at an older age. I will be discussing discipline techniques in this article and you may or may not agree with me, and that is ok. Each of us have to make the decision as to what is and what is not acceptable when it comes to disciplining our children.

Step2

I think disciplining children can be distilled down to six areas. The first is teaching. Children are always asking questions and you should take the time to answer them in a positive and teaching manner. Often a child will ask the same questions over and over until they ' get ' the concept. Its our responsibility as parents to keep our cool as these young humans beings learn about the complex world they have been thrown into.

Step3

The second is planning. Let your child know ahead of time what the rules of the house are and give them time to get used to the routines. Immediate intervention should only be used if the misbehavior could lead to injury to the child or someone else. The earlier parents establish a system of rules and punishments, the easier and more effective the discipline of your child will be. You may feel it easier to ignore some bad behavior for the sake of a peaceful household but it sets a bad precedent. Consistency is absolutely necessary in disciplining your child as it is an important part of learning boundaries.

Step4

The third is encouragement. Never miss an opportunity to bring awareness in your child's heart that they have done something well. The old saying you will catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar is very applicable in disciplining your child. Your child will work toward gaining more of your praise a lot easier if he thinks it is obtainable. Criticism rarely ever works with a child other than giving them a feeling of failure.

Step5

The forth goes well with the first and second areas, being an example of proper behavior is an important part of disciplining your child. If you are determined to keep your child from becoming a smoker, then do not smoke yourself. Same goes with almost any behavior be it laziness, promptness, or having good work habits. By setting a good examples for your child you will be teaching them ways to interact with the world that hold with your belief system which hopefully is a constructive one.

Step6

The fifth area is to give your child clear warnings of the consequences of disobeying you. Clearly tell them the boundaries you expect them to obey and what the punishments will be if they decide to not obey you. Don't jump off the handle and just send a child to his room without letting them know they are crossing boundaries. This will just confuse them and give them the idea your not stable enough to be trusted. Our culture has placed great faith in diplomacy as a means to resolving problems and warnings are part of diplomacy.

Step7

The sixth area is punishment. Some approve of spanking, others don't. Personally I don't and these six areas give a system of discipline that works without spanking. There are other ways to bring compliance rather than causing physical pain. Decide what limits on punishment your comfortable in using and when a child disobeys administer that punishment immediately. Have a backup plan in case your initial punishment does not work so your not left hanging with no idea of what to do next. Waiting will only confuse children and no progress will be made. Not following through with a threatened punishment also sets a bad precedent and will lead to more misbehavior. Consistency is very important in disciplining your child effectively.